Hey, thanks for answering my well-meant but somewhat blunt question :)

I feel the same as you. I have self-diagnosed after years of research and even gone to multiple seminars on autism due to diagnosed family members, and I still worry that it's not valid enough.

Not for lack of trying to get a professional diagnosis, I'm on my 3rd attempt now, but they generally ignore masking adults in my country. While the world in general is on DSM-5, we're still on ICD10 (from 1992!!), so professional competence on adult and masked ASD is scarce.

In short: Self-diagnosis is 100% valid. It has to be, because not everyone are able to get one affordably or even at all (or may not want one because it locks them out of certain professions), but they still need support and understanding.

If my own autism thought me one thing it is all intelligent consciousness is valid, no matter what species and divergenties.

I prefer a bigger open community where we can all respect each others quirks and differences away from neurotypical biases then a small exclusive group of “real autist” gatekeepers.