And these big companies aren’t calling it AI because it’s an accurate descriptor. It could also be called a generative language model.

A generative language model is a kind of artificial intelligence. Similar to how a parrot is a kind of bird. They are calling it artificial intelligence because it is artificial intelligence, you're the one who's insisting on redefining a word that has been in use this way for many decades.

ambiguated plagiarism machines

That's not how they work. Maybe learn a bit more about the field before telling the people working in it how to name things.