The common "curse" words like "shit" and "fuck" are pretty impersonal. They can signal an escalation, but are typically pretty minor. They don't even do that when the speaker is like "I just took a huge shit. Don't go in there for a while"

Other words, like racial slurs and anti-queer stuff, invoke more history and violence. If someone calls someone an asshole that's probably not that big a deal. If they call someone a n-word f-gay-slur, there might be a hate crime about to happen.

So I don't use those words. I don't want to bring the stuff they import into the scene.

People who are the typical recipients of the slurs using them themselves is a related topic I'm not very qualified to speak on, and I wouldn't try to police their language.