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[–] 23 points 2 years ago
  • Fake - I'm pretty sure it's quite real.
  • No Victims - "Your honor, I didn't successfully rob the bank, so there were no victims!"
  • No Jury - Bro, you opted not to have a jury trial.
  • Gag order...taking away my right to defend myself - Your defense of the facts requires that you attack the judge and his staff?
  • I did nothing wrong! - That's for a court to decide. Also, you broke your golden rule: never do yourself what you can order someone else to do. Mob Boss 101.

Thank you for your sacrifice, btw.

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