would-be murder-hobos dabbling in meta-dickery at the table.

DM: Oh, so we're meta-gaming now? Is that why you keep executing my quest-givers and plot-leads? Hold my ale.

But seriously, as a DM I'm chill with some meta-ness if it fits the "rule of cool" and doesn't break the game or story into unusable pieces. Then again, my style is heavily improvised so they can't break much in the way of grand plans (there aren't any). Besides, I can always call down some deity and rewrite physics to my liking, so the risk is basically nil.

I feel like puncturing a hole is pretty clearly a wound, but having a cockatrice petrifying someone and casting Stone Shape (which I assume is how sex changes and cosmetic surgery works) probably wouldn't be a wound.