Or into the thunderdome where no matter what you say, someone will fight you for it

Exactly, lemmy needs to grow but if it just continues to grow and grow eventually it will just turn into what reddit is now. I'm happy to have something small to be a part of for now.... i don't think you needed me to tell you this but they say commenting is good for lemmy, so here i am

What's the easiest way to find communities across different instances? If I could figure that out, I would just forget about reddit.

Ive seen that in reddit shadowbanning is rampant on new accounts, so mayve that has to do with something. Specially if you have been banned before.