And how do you know the mysterious illness is simply not giving staves sentience?

Doesn't give me any LLM vibes at all tbh. It's a terse article that's mostly quotes, and the parts where the author is paraphrasing to add summarized information without using quotations aren't repeating things stated elsewhere in the quotes.

Also the article seems to be a loosely rewritten transcript of the video spot at the top left of the page, so that kind of explains the low effort and lack of a personal credit. Probably an intern

It's barely even an article. It's four alarming sentences and zero actionable details. Nevermind apparently I missed the tiny Read More link buried between the massive ads.