You write things and read like you fucking want

That's the last lesson you have to learn before becoming fluent in English, especially American English. If you put a Cajun, a Yankee, a Brit and an Australian in the same room, despite all four of them allegedly speaking the same language you'll be lucky to communicate more than a sentence or two between the lot of them.

There are certain rules to be followed in English but a solid 45% or more of our "rules" are more like "subtext" and can be freely ignored, changed, or customized based on location and current company.

As for the "Why, English?" that's because English is a stolen mishmash hodgepodge of 14 different languages where we took the cool and useful words and bastardized them into unrecognizability. English more than any other is a patchwork language. We didn't invent shit, merely reappropriated other people's words in true classic English fashion.