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Anon makes a decision (feddit.de)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/greentext@lemmy.ml
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[+] -7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

You're entitled to your opinion. I don't see why I should respect people that don't respect themselves.

If I had a big fat arse due to eating ten cream cakes a day for ten years, I wouldn't expect respect, I'd expect people to say "my god, that's a big fat arse!".

Respect is to be earned, not simply expected.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    why I should respect people that don’t respect themselves

    Source for the lack of self respect? Or is that just your... opinion?

    I’d expect people to say “my god, that’s a big fat arse!”.

    Honestly, that sounds like no self respect to me. But what do I know?

    Respect is something you earn, not something you simply expect.

    Nope, expertise is something you earn. Respect should be expected.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Respect should be expected

    I always felt weird when people would tell me respect is earned, since I give everyone I meet respect until they give me a reason not to. Glad to see I'm not the only one with that perception.

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  • [–] -3 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    If someone thinks that they are respecting themselves by willfully making decisions that they know are terrible for their health, then I don know what to say, it's not a concept that I think I could comprehend, but I'm willing to let you try changing my mind.

    Well it's true, I know I have plenty of personal flaws, but I'm willing to take criticism of them. I'm not going to expect respect for doing fuck all about my personal problems and I don't think anyone else should.

    Hard disagree. I respect people that put in hard work and effort towards achieving their goals, I don't respect, nor do I have any time for pity parties. If you're fat, that's your problem, deal with it.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (1 child)

    If someone thinks that they are respecting themselves by willfully making decisions that they know are terrible for their health

    I'm gonna need you to point out someone saying this before I take this claim seriously.

    I know I have plenty of personal flaws, but I’m willing to take criticism of them.

    Unprompted criticism of your body is just bullying. Accepting that requires a lack of self respect.

    I’m not going to expect respect for doing fuck all about my personal problems and I don’t think anyone else should.

    You're dragging the goalposts around and humping them, at this point. I didn't say "respect for doing nothing." Just... respect. The basic respect a human deserves for being human. Not getting on your knees, calling them lord, and complimenting their choices of fatty food. Just the bare minimum of not bullying them. Is that so hard?

    I respect people that put in hard work and effort towards achieving their goals

    Okay? But not every action is one to be judged on that criteria. Not everything is done to meet a goal. Just walking through town isn't one of those things.

    I don’t respect pity parties.

    Who's asking you to? Where's the pity? Where's the party?

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  • [–] -2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

    I think people deserve dignity, but that respect is something that's earnt.

    If fat people don't like being criticised for their bad choices and unhealthy, unattractive bodies, that's really not my problem. If you hate that someone thinks you're fat, lose some weight, is it really worth digging your heels in over to make a point about a lack of respect?

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child)

    Is it so hard to just not bully people? You don't have to agree, you just have to not say anything. You're the one dying on a hill, here.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    We have blurred lines between the ideas of a lack of respect and bullying.

    It's disrespectful to say "my god, that's a big fat arse!", but it's not bullying unless it's repetitive and used with the intent of hurting their feelings, bullying also implies an imbalance of power.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    It doesn't have to be repetitive, or an imbalance of power. Simply trying to hurt someone's feelings for no reason would still be bullying. And i can't think of any other reason to comment negatively on a stranger's appearance to their face.

    "My my, you have such wonky teeth!"

    That would upset me, no matter who said it or how often.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    The difference is that you have almost no control over whether your teeth are straight or not, or whether you're wealthy enough to afford braces.

    Anyone can put down the fork, drink water instead of mountain dew and choose not to have desert.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    Don't move the goalposts. You may be able to refuse dessert, but you absolutely cannot simply choose to not be fat. It takes more effort than that.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    Yes you can. I obviously don't mean that you can decide not to be fat and the weight will magically disappear.

    Every time you put food in your mouth, you're making a conscious choice, you're not "deciding to be fat" per se, but you are fully aware that too many rain drops causes a flood and that it will take a similar time of less rain drops for the flood to dry up.

    If you commit eating less calories, you will lose weight, that's not an opinion, it's a fact.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Oh, so you can't just decide to not be fat? My point is proven, then.

    What about people with medical conditions, slow metabolisms, thyroid conditions?

    Yes, it is as simple as calories in, calories out - but who can tell precisely what their calorie allotment is? And is the decision of what to eat completely in everyone's hands? Food deserts exists as an external factor, and mental illness and addiction exists as an internal factor.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child)

    You can decide not to consistently over eat, it's the same thing. I think I'm being pretty clear and I think you're arguing about semantics.

    We're going full circle here I've already said I empathise with people that have significant health or mental issues. This is the second time in your latest response that you've shown that you might not be reading my comments and that you may not be really trying to understanding them. I'm not here to argue the toss with someone that isn't participating in the debate with good faith.

    It's easy, even if you can't calorie count, just get on the scales or look in the mirror every now and again if you're getting too fat, cut back your portion size. You don't need a PhD in biology to work out if you're eating too much.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago*

    You can decide not to consistently over eat, it’s the same thing. I think I’m being pretty clear and I think you’re arguing about semantics.

    Okay, but:

    is the decision of what to eat completely in everyone’s hands? Food deserts exists as an external factor, and mental illness and addiction exists as an internal factor.

    I've already answered this. Stop pretending I haven't because you have some sick humiliation fetish that makes you get off on being proven wrong over and over.

    I’ve already said I empathise with people that have significant health or mental issues.

    I don't recall you saying this, and you definitely haven't indicated it so far.

    you’ve shown that you might not be reading my comments and that you may not be really trying to understanding them

    Yeah, the fact that I laboriously quote and respond to specific points must really be driving you that way.

    Please. Don't play with me or try to gaslight me.

    I’m not here to argue the toss with someone that isn’t participating in the debate with good faith.

    That's my line in this scene. Remember you're playing the role of the apathetic troll.

    It’s easy, even if you can’t calorie count, just get on the scales or look in the mirror every now and again if you’re getting too fat, cut back your portion size. You don’t need a PhD in biology to work out if you’re eating too much.

    Ah, falling back on generic advice that I've already proven is not good enough. Yes, we are indeed going in circles, but that is not my doing.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    The respect of not going in and talking shit on other people’s bodies absolutely is supposed to be simply expected. If I talked shit about other people’s bodies on the internet I wouldn’t expect respect, I’d expect T people to say “fuck, you’re a giant ass”

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child)

    You're a dick. You can say that about anything. You don't own a house yet? That's because of a string of poor decisions. You don't respect yourself, otherwise you would have saved enough money. And then you'll go, oh, but I am the one who has real problems, unlike those other fat people. Everyone who was more successful than you was lucky, everyone who was less successful was lazy. This is precisely what millionaires tell themselves to justify paying minimum wage. Those employees who accept working for this meager salary? No self respect, they deserve it.

    You? You are just a self-absorbed dick who can only see things from their own perspective and have no idea about other people's problems.

    Written by someone who lost 70lb 15 years ago and didn't gain it back. Did I suddenly acquire self-respect and discipline? Nope, just found a sustainable lifestyle that worked for me. Shocking, I know.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago

    I think we might be using different definitions of respect. Respect as in "I want you to defer to me and do what I say" absolutely has to be earned. Respect as in "I don't want you to shittalk people you've never met based on one arbitrarily selected criterion" is part of being a decent human being.

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