▲ 316 ▼ Join us and you'll never have to be in a situation where your kid causes an entire flight to be canceled. (lemmy.world) submitted 4 days ago by destructdisc@lemmy.world to c/childfree@lemmy.world 97 comments fedilink hide all child comments Global News article
[–] TemplaerDude@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 days ago (1 child) Child abuse? No typically it’s advised against. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Martin@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 days ago (2 children) Sure, we know what not to do, but do we also know what we should do instead then? Sometimes you need kids to comply within a certain time frame and that's going to require some pressure one way or the other and no, it's not going to scar them for life permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago (5 children) You talk to them. You tell them what's going down. You give them details. Children are not animals. They can listen, understand, speak, hold a conversation. If you need them to do something specific, in a certain time frame, for a certain reason, you tell them. I feel like people underestimate the mental faculties of kids all the time. If you treat them with respect and just talk to them, you usually don't have to resort to abuse tactics. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 10 child comments replies: [–] almost1337@lemmy.zip 13 points 4 days ago (1 child) "Just talking to them" doesn't always work (e.g. toddlers, children with pathological demand avoidance, etc), but I agree that abuse is still never the answer. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago Sure, no solution is perfect and there's exceptions to every rule. But the original question is "what options do I have aside from abusing my kid?", and while "just talk to them" is an oversimplified answer, I feel it's an appropriate response to such a thickheaded question. permalink fedilink source parent [–] ieGod@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago (1 child) Adults don't always understand. Sometimes force is actually required. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago EXACTLY. What are they talking about? There are fully grown adults who act like this and the only way some of thesr adults ever complied to anything was when you forced them to comply. ...So youre telling me that ALL kids are smarter than these types of adults? Pft! permalink fedilink source parent [–] isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago Something tells me the parents tried that already with this kid. permalink fedilink source parent [–] brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 point 4 days ago Kids are smart. But they don't always have the same thought process as adults. There have to be consequences for actions. And a stern talking to just isn't going to cut it for a lot of kids. Punishments like spanking give an immediate reinforcement and I wouldn't consider that abuse. Different situations require different ways to handle kids. On an airplane where the kid won't sit still, I would certainly consider something immediate that doesn't need a lengthy explanation. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Martin@lemmy.ml -1 points 4 days ago Usually yes, and I will acknowledge that skipping this step is showing laziness or incompetence, but I don't think children are already reasonable, especially when they're tired (this happened late in the evening) and already committed to throwing a tantrum. And in this case the whole situation might have been already stressful for the parents anyway, which doesn't help. Probably they should have talked about it more way before they entered the plane, and prepared the kid for what was going to happen. And maybe they did. But the situation then being what it is I think options can be very limited, and there probably wasn't much time to try reasoning with the kid permalink fedilink source parent [–] TemplaerDude@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago It is a parenting issue, not a child issue. You don’t harm a child just because you’re pressed for time. You learn how to communicate the urgency, you learn how to distract, you teach them about action and consequence. This kids parents apparently were not having a good day and to a certain degree I empathize with them, but they shouldn’t have been in that situation to begin with if they just worked with their kid. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Martin@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 days ago (2 children) Sure, we know what not to do, but do we also know what we should do instead then? Sometimes you need kids to comply within a certain time frame and that's going to require some pressure one way or the other and no, it's not going to scar them for life permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago (5 children) You talk to them. You tell them what's going down. You give them details. Children are not animals. They can listen, understand, speak, hold a conversation. If you need them to do something specific, in a certain time frame, for a certain reason, you tell them. I feel like people underestimate the mental faculties of kids all the time. If you treat them with respect and just talk to them, you usually don't have to resort to abuse tactics. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 10 child comments replies: [–] almost1337@lemmy.zip 13 points 4 days ago (1 child) "Just talking to them" doesn't always work (e.g. toddlers, children with pathological demand avoidance, etc), but I agree that abuse is still never the answer. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago Sure, no solution is perfect and there's exceptions to every rule. But the original question is "what options do I have aside from abusing my kid?", and while "just talk to them" is an oversimplified answer, I feel it's an appropriate response to such a thickheaded question. permalink fedilink source parent [–] ieGod@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago (1 child) Adults don't always understand. Sometimes force is actually required. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago EXACTLY. What are they talking about? There are fully grown adults who act like this and the only way some of thesr adults ever complied to anything was when you forced them to comply. ...So youre telling me that ALL kids are smarter than these types of adults? Pft! permalink fedilink source parent [–] isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago Something tells me the parents tried that already with this kid. permalink fedilink source parent [–] brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 point 4 days ago Kids are smart. But they don't always have the same thought process as adults. There have to be consequences for actions. And a stern talking to just isn't going to cut it for a lot of kids. Punishments like spanking give an immediate reinforcement and I wouldn't consider that abuse. Different situations require different ways to handle kids. On an airplane where the kid won't sit still, I would certainly consider something immediate that doesn't need a lengthy explanation. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Martin@lemmy.ml -1 points 4 days ago Usually yes, and I will acknowledge that skipping this step is showing laziness or incompetence, but I don't think children are already reasonable, especially when they're tired (this happened late in the evening) and already committed to throwing a tantrum. And in this case the whole situation might have been already stressful for the parents anyway, which doesn't help. Probably they should have talked about it more way before they entered the plane, and prepared the kid for what was going to happen. And maybe they did. But the situation then being what it is I think options can be very limited, and there probably wasn't much time to try reasoning with the kid permalink fedilink source parent [–] TemplaerDude@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago It is a parenting issue, not a child issue. You don’t harm a child just because you’re pressed for time. You learn how to communicate the urgency, you learn how to distract, you teach them about action and consequence. This kids parents apparently were not having a good day and to a certain degree I empathize with them, but they shouldn’t have been in that situation to begin with if they just worked with their kid. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago (5 children) You talk to them. You tell them what's going down. You give them details. Children are not animals. They can listen, understand, speak, hold a conversation. If you need them to do something specific, in a certain time frame, for a certain reason, you tell them. I feel like people underestimate the mental faculties of kids all the time. If you treat them with respect and just talk to them, you usually don't have to resort to abuse tactics. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 10 child comments replies: [–] almost1337@lemmy.zip 13 points 4 days ago (1 child) "Just talking to them" doesn't always work (e.g. toddlers, children with pathological demand avoidance, etc), but I agree that abuse is still never the answer. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago Sure, no solution is perfect and there's exceptions to every rule. But the original question is "what options do I have aside from abusing my kid?", and while "just talk to them" is an oversimplified answer, I feel it's an appropriate response to such a thickheaded question. permalink fedilink source parent [–] ieGod@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago (1 child) Adults don't always understand. Sometimes force is actually required. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago EXACTLY. What are they talking about? There are fully grown adults who act like this and the only way some of thesr adults ever complied to anything was when you forced them to comply. ...So youre telling me that ALL kids are smarter than these types of adults? Pft! permalink fedilink source parent [–] isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago Something tells me the parents tried that already with this kid. permalink fedilink source parent [–] brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 point 4 days ago Kids are smart. But they don't always have the same thought process as adults. There have to be consequences for actions. And a stern talking to just isn't going to cut it for a lot of kids. Punishments like spanking give an immediate reinforcement and I wouldn't consider that abuse. Different situations require different ways to handle kids. On an airplane where the kid won't sit still, I would certainly consider something immediate that doesn't need a lengthy explanation. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Martin@lemmy.ml -1 points 4 days ago Usually yes, and I will acknowledge that skipping this step is showing laziness or incompetence, but I don't think children are already reasonable, especially when they're tired (this happened late in the evening) and already committed to throwing a tantrum. And in this case the whole situation might have been already stressful for the parents anyway, which doesn't help. Probably they should have talked about it more way before they entered the plane, and prepared the kid for what was going to happen. And maybe they did. But the situation then being what it is I think options can be very limited, and there probably wasn't much time to try reasoning with the kid permalink fedilink source parent
[–] almost1337@lemmy.zip 13 points 4 days ago (1 child) "Just talking to them" doesn't always work (e.g. toddlers, children with pathological demand avoidance, etc), but I agree that abuse is still never the answer. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago Sure, no solution is perfect and there's exceptions to every rule. But the original question is "what options do I have aside from abusing my kid?", and while "just talk to them" is an oversimplified answer, I feel it's an appropriate response to such a thickheaded question. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago Sure, no solution is perfect and there's exceptions to every rule. But the original question is "what options do I have aside from abusing my kid?", and while "just talk to them" is an oversimplified answer, I feel it's an appropriate response to such a thickheaded question. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] ieGod@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago (1 child) Adults don't always understand. Sometimes force is actually required. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago EXACTLY. What are they talking about? There are fully grown adults who act like this and the only way some of thesr adults ever complied to anything was when you forced them to comply. ...So youre telling me that ALL kids are smarter than these types of adults? Pft! permalink fedilink source parent
[–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago EXACTLY. What are they talking about? There are fully grown adults who act like this and the only way some of thesr adults ever complied to anything was when you forced them to comply. ...So youre telling me that ALL kids are smarter than these types of adults? Pft! permalink fedilink source parent
[–] isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago Something tells me the parents tried that already with this kid. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 point 4 days ago Kids are smart. But they don't always have the same thought process as adults. There have to be consequences for actions. And a stern talking to just isn't going to cut it for a lot of kids. Punishments like spanking give an immediate reinforcement and I wouldn't consider that abuse. Different situations require different ways to handle kids. On an airplane where the kid won't sit still, I would certainly consider something immediate that doesn't need a lengthy explanation. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Martin@lemmy.ml -1 points 4 days ago Usually yes, and I will acknowledge that skipping this step is showing laziness or incompetence, but I don't think children are already reasonable, especially when they're tired (this happened late in the evening) and already committed to throwing a tantrum. And in this case the whole situation might have been already stressful for the parents anyway, which doesn't help. Probably they should have talked about it more way before they entered the plane, and prepared the kid for what was going to happen. And maybe they did. But the situation then being what it is I think options can be very limited, and there probably wasn't much time to try reasoning with the kid permalink fedilink source parent
[–] TemplaerDude@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago It is a parenting issue, not a child issue. You don’t harm a child just because you’re pressed for time. You learn how to communicate the urgency, you learn how to distract, you teach them about action and consequence. This kids parents apparently were not having a good day and to a certain degree I empathize with them, but they shouldn’t have been in that situation to begin with if they just worked with their kid. permalink fedilink source parent