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My shell cracked this past weekend (lemm.ee)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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Getting hit with a lot of emotions. Some scary and some exciting.

My wife is being really supportive and we've been talking through all of this the past couple days nonstop.

Part of me is ready to shave everything and start HRT and feel pretty, but I'm also fucking terrified about how my world will react. It's also only been a few days but I feel like a whole new world has been opened up to me?

I don't know. I want to everyone and nobody so I thought I'd scream into the void here. Hope that is ok.

I'm so fucking empowered by all of you

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[–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

Congrats! I'm super proud of you and everyone who is discovering and coming to terms with themselves!

There are a lot of skills that we who are AMAB tend not to develop due to societal gender norms, etc. I'm a bit envious of your getting to learn and experience some of those things as I'm cis and more "rugged and hairy" than pretty. I hope you have a lot of fun with all of the new things!

I have a sibling going through similar and it's really exciting to see them going moving forward on this journey.

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    That is so fantastic that you are supportive of your sibling and what they are going through. The world needs more people that are loving and supportive!

    And thanks! I keep chickening out on shaving, but I'm doing it tonight! I'm really looking forward to feeling more like myself.

    No need to be envious, we can be shaving pals 😁 if that feels like something you may enjoy, why not explore it? It's temporary and easy to cover up :) just a thought.

    Thank you for the kind words!

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (1 child)

    I semi-recently cracked too, I'd definitely recommend going for the full shave, it was super weird at first but then I loved it. Decided to let it all grow back so I could objectively compare and I'm 100% going to get rid of it again.

    Another note, if you can I'd definitely recommend speaking to a specialist, I had a lot of trouble coming to terms and accepting such a big change and speaking to a therapist super helped me accept it.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Update on shaving, I finally did it and kinda went all the way. Shaved the usual bits but also my hands, feet, back and butt, lol. I feel so lovely ❤️

    I've actually been in therapy for a couple years and plan on telling my therapist tomorrow during our session :)

    Glad to hear therapy helped so much! I hope it will also help me come to terms with all the change because it really feels like a lot.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Oh boy it does, I kind of cracked last year, but it was too scary so I repressed it and told myself I was NB instead. I want to shave my butt but my skin is sensitive and doesn't like razor shaving, and anything less than smoothness down there is extremely itchy. It's scary, but also exciting, because I don't know what kind of woman I'll be... Mostly scary now that I think about it, I've got an appointment next month with a makeover artist who specialises in MTF transformations, in hoping seeing myself like that will give me the burst of euphoria I need to see this through.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Oh honey, I'm right there with you with the sensitive skin. I have so much razor burn everywhere. I definitely didn't do it right. Gonna try nair next time as I've had good results in the past. Well mostly.

    One time I did my bikini area. And I mean everything and when it was time to take it off, I realized I missed a few spots so I felt the sensible thing was to just go ahead and put it on again right after... Oh my god the pain was intense on my most sensitive areas. Then had another bright idea to quickly wipe it off and add aloe vera gel to help with the burning sensation. Fell to the ground grasping my bits because it was so terribly painful. 😂 so don't make that mistake.

    There's a saying about beauty being painful right? Well. I definitely have the pain part down 😂

    I had no idea that there were make up artists like that! I live in rural Indiana (yikes) so not much in the way of gender affirming services around me but I really hope that goes well for you!

    If you'd like to talk to a new gal like me about some of these new feelings, I'm here ❤️ just try and focus on small changes that make you happy. Listen to that beautiful woman inside of you and you'll find happiness :)

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I've just painted my nails, atm it feels like I've just got stuff over my hands because of the messy job I've done 😂 gonna tidy up the skin with some remover, but I already feel prettier

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 2 years ago

    I'm so proud of you! Keep chasing that feeling of "pretty" because it will help you find happiness. At least that is what I am learning. ❤️ You have my support and love!

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (1 child)

    The world needs more people that are loving and supportive!

    I absolutely agree. Love might but be all that the world needs but, I think that it is something that has been sorely lacking in recent years, with intentional, concerted efforts to divide and "other" people. Nothing more rebellious or "punk rock" in modern times than showing our fellow human beings love, support, and acceptance.

    If you're ever feeling a lack of love, support, or acceptance, feel free to reach out. I've got plenty to go around and am inclined to share ;)

    Thank you for the thoughts as well! I love my hairy self (and feel that I look far too young when I shave), it's more the experience of discovering the "new" that I envy; figuring out ways to feel more like your feminine self, learning to do makeup properly (if you're so inclined), figuring out clothes and fashions that you enjoy and find flattering, etc. I'm excited for you for getting to experience that.

    If you don't yet know how to sew and alter clothing (something that I think EVERY adult should learn, TBH), I might suggest either learning via YouTube or even taking a class, especially, if like me, you enjoy costumes. Being able to do even basic sewing can unlock so much in the way of comfort, functionality, and fit.

    And I'm realize that my ADHD meds have kicked in and I'm rambling a bit (sorry about that!). Keep rocking!

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 2 years ago

    Thank you for all of the support and tips! I hadn't even considered sewing, but that's a really good idea! Definitely going to look into it.

    Glad to know there are so many people out there willing to share their acceptance and support for me and women like me ❤️

    Also, I have ADHD too so definitely get the same talkative tendencies when my meds kick in 😂

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