Do we have any red port wine left?

Honestly, yeah. That's what I relied on as well and what was taught to me. Also what I then taught to the people under me. I have no other real way of understanding it. I know why we use port/starboard but I've never looked into why port/starboard are the words we've stuck with.

My grandfather was a bomber pilot and he always remembered it by picturing himself flying north along the east coast, where all the ports would be on the left.

That's essentially how I always remember it. Port and left both have 4 letters.

Additionally, "starboard" has 'r's (for "right").

Also, the old name for "port" is "larboard", which starts with an L for left.

Port is short. My BIL taught me that this summer!

and even, as in even numbers.

Port, left, even...all words an even number of letters Starboard, right, odd...all words are an odd number of letters.

Starbucks is always on the right side of the road!