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Would you consider it predatory if a 30 year old woman was hanging out with people aged 20-29 because she has a mental age of 20 due to being in a coma for 10 years? (lemmy.cafe)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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[–] 0 points 4 months ago (1 child)

So where do you draw the line? What if a 19 year old dates a mature 14-15 year old? Is that OK in your book, assuming theres jo significant power difference (if you agree its ok, explain your system of measuring 'power difference')?

Just because the specific number 18 is a social construct doesnt mean it should be a free for all. We do live in a society after all, and need to draw the line somewhere. Also, because in most countries (sans the US where you can drive at 16, go to war at 18, but only drink at 21) there is a definite line between adult and non-adult(the specific day you turn 18). This is necessary, even if it is a bit ridiculous that im not allowed to do certan things 24 hours before my 18th birthday.

In my country, and most if im not mistaken, if 2 underage people are dating, no one expects them to "pause" their relationship as soon as the older of the 2 crosses the threshold of adulthood, until the younger also crosses it. But if an adult starts a relationship with someone underage, thats not OK, abd you beed to have a cincrete definition of what 'underage' is, abd when exactly that is.

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  • [–] 0 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    You seem quite angry with me. You didn't even stop to proofread.

    What I meant by power imbalance was people shouldn't date if, for instance, one person is the other persons teacher or boss. Which applies even if both are over 18.

    And I think it's fine for a 19 year old to date someone 2 or 3 years younger than them. It's hard to pin down exactly what an acceptable age difference is. In some countries the rule is at a certain age you can consent with people up to two years older and at a certain age, people up to five years older

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    You seem quite angry with me. You didn't even stop to proofread.

    Drinks were drunk, and editing on mobile with my fat fingers is a pain 😅😂. Also, not angry, sorry if it came across that way.

    As for the rest of your comment, I disagree about the consent being ok based on the age difference, but agree about the power imbalance part. The acceptable age difference in my opinion is:

    If both people are underage, a 2 year difference sounds reasonable as you said (but only if both are underage at the start of the relationship, otherwise grooming). If both are adults, have at it, get with a 70 year old the day after you turn 18 if you wish.

    My point is Im personally staunchly against separating and mixing different ages for being legally able to do different stuff. While not how nature works, laws need to be written in such a way that they apply the same to everyone, so even if I mature/develop my brain 5 years after you do for example, we both need to have the threshold age be the same for adulthood. Once thats understood and agreed upon, we now need to determine what said threshold age will be. I brought up the example of the USA in my comment above, where they are legally allowed to drive, die/kill for the government, and drink at different ages. I believe youre either an adult or not, at least in the eyes of the law (or at least thats how it should be)

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