this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2026

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Leopards Ate My Face

leopardsatemyface@lemmy.world

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Tucker Carlson Facing ‘Foreign Agent’ Charges, He Says—’They Read My Texts’ (www.newsweek.com)

submitted 5 months ago by givesomefucks@lemmy.world to c/leopardsatemyface@lemmy.world

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[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world [S] 135 points 5 months ago (1 child)

He added that some people in the CIA were "mad at me for my views about Israel."

Who could have guessed a fascist authoritarian regime would insist on 100% loyalty, especially from the ones who installed them...

Maybe someone should write a poem about it?

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[–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 56 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Ok, I'll start.

There once was a douche named Tucker...

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[–] just2look@lemmy.zip 100 points 5 months ago* (3 children)

He thought everyone was a sucker

He helped the far right,

Now they won't help him fight

The criminal charges, dumb fucker

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[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 22 points 5 months ago (1 child)

This shit is gonna be taught in schools some day.

"Here we have a snippet from the poet Just2look ..."

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[–] just2look@lemmy.zip 12 points 5 months ago (1 child)

I really hope they find more useful and eloquent things to teach than my off the cuff internet rambling.

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[+] SARGE@startrek.website 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 child)

[deleted]

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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 months ago

Are you talking about the one who kept his money in a bucket, or George Pollard, master of the whaling vessel Essex that was sunk by an apparently vengeful bull sperm whale in the Pacific, inspiring Herman Melville's novel Moby Dick? History doesn't record where Captain Pollard kept all his money.

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[–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

The power of friendship made this happen.

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[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Slow clap

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[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world [S] 16 points 5 months ago (1 child)

Ok, I’ll start.

To be fair it was a reference to a poem a priest wrote after telling his congregation to bring Nazis into power...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_They_Came

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[–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

I was aware, but chose to have some fun.

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[–] lemmyng@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago* (1 child)

Whose lips look like an asshole that puckers.

He wears bow ties like a nerd,

Fashions his hair like a turd,

And has been cucked, still believing he's the cucker.

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[–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Happy poem and cake to you.

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[–] zqwzzle@lemmy.ca 6 points 5 months ago (1 child)

Who’s probably a child fucker…

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[–] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

Elegant brevity achieved.

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