Excapism: Watching TV shows, movies, anime,
Writing... my life story... sometimes fiction... sometimes poetry...
Watching youtube videos about random stuff, sometimes gameplay, sometimes educational, sometimes irl stuff (the less depressing stuff fun stuff)
Just to let you know, I have double the normal existential crisis since
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I wasn't even supposed to be born. I was during the One Child Policy of China but I was the second child... its a rare chance that I'm even alive
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As an immigrant, I have constant identity crisis. Not American enough to be American, not Chinese enough to be Chinese. I want to embrace my language but I keep getting traumatized by it. I keep thinking about the alternate timeline where I had to live in China behind the stupid firewall bullshit.
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I also nearly got kidnapped since I ran away from home when I was 6 years old due to a fight with my brother so I got scared and ran. I keep reliving that memory and just think what a horrible life that'd be to be trafficked somewhere.
I don't think it really goes away, you just have to deal with it.
Watching movies that makes me cry is very powerful, endorphins feels SOO GOOD. Its hard to explain. Endorphins is the best natural drug there ever is.