1057
What a save (media.piefed.world)
submitted 6 months ago by to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 20 points 6 months ago (3 children)

As a 60 year old man that dates women in their mid-30s (I want children), I feel this post-it note.

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  • [–] 42 points 6 months ago* (2 children)

    Respect for saying this out loud.

    But also just a bit yikes, but credit for not going younger than 30s

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  • [–] 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

    Ehhh...it breaks the half-plus-7 rule (I'd call 37 'late 30s')...but it beats 20s. I'm only forty and I can barely relate to my 20-something BILs. I couldn't imagine dating someone in their 20s, and not just because I'm happily married. The culture gap is so real. I could relate to X so much more than Z.

    Still...even mid-30s doesn't give much time to plant the seed before you have to worry about the first frost. You gotta sow while the soil is warm. Having your own kid is great and all but maybe look for a divorcee/widow with a toddler...

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  • [–] 23 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    Also seems kinda cruel having a kid knowing you'll statistically die before they even graduate high school.

    If he met someone today and had a kid by 61 by the time that kid graduates high school he'd be 79.

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  • [–] 11 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    Statistically his mean life expectancy is ~20 years left. Keep in mind as you get older your life expectancy goes up since you've already survived what killed many others younger

    He'd be expected to die shortly after sending his kid off to college

    Source: https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html

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  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    Fair point, gonna be a rough sophomore year of college then

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  • [–] 2 points 6 months ago

    Aging lies at the intersection of genetics and environment, which implies that 1) not everyone ages at the same rate, and 2) by optimizing the environment your body operates in (e.g., optimizing sleep, exercise, nutrition, supplements, and drugs ), you can optimize regeneration/repair and effectively slow the rate of aging. I'm lucky enough to have really good genetics for aging and I take exceptional care of myself, optimizing the above parameters, including the use of rapamycin. I have a long line of ancestors that have lived well into their 90s, even back in the 1700s, so I think there is a good chance my corpse will hold out long enough to see my offspring into adulthood.

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  • [–] 10 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    Same, I'm just getting to forty and the older I get the less dating someone half my age makes any kind of sense. I have patients that I have seen from their teens and they're now in their mid twenties. Thinking about them as anything other than kids just seems unnatural and morally decrepit.

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  • [–] -5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    Thank you for commenting. I always appreciate feedback. I'd honestly prefer to date someone a bit closer to my age, as it's easier to have things in common. However, I'm exceptionally fit (my VO2max is 52), most of my friends are in their mid-40s, I'm very active, and have a couple of genetic SNPs associated with longevity, which I credit with how well I have aged. Most people guess that I'm in my mid 40s, and are shocked to learn my actual age. I'm also fortunate enough to be well-educated, financially stable, and reasonably good looking, so I am able to attract the women I'm interested in. FWIW, I would consider women as young as 25 hypothetically, but in reality I think it's unlikely that I'd find the type of connection I'm seeking with someone that age. Realistically, 30 is probably my lower limit.

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  • [–] 22 points 6 months ago

    I mean.... If you would truly prefer dating someone your own age you would be dating someone your own age. There are more realistic options for you to become a parent and have a quality relationship built on mutual respect.

    I think most people dating people more than half their age tend to prefer people they can control emotionally and financially, and they tend to have more than a dash of narcissism. The older I get the stranger it is for me to see people dating someone they have nothing in common with. Like, what do you talk about with these people?

    You may be in great shape for your 60s, but aging isn't a gradual progression. It happens in plateaus, and the likelihood of you not starting to have some issues with your memory and physical mobility by the time your child reaches adulthood is slim to none.

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  • [–] 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

    All good points for you. I guess the issue comes down to dating younger specifically to have kids. In a way it's reductive, you're not looking for a partner but shopping for a receptacle to give you a child.

    From your additional comment I can see that's not entirely the case, but if you would refuse to date a woman that is in all regards is a perfect match for you just because she's closer to your age (and unable to have children) then that's a bit of an issue.

    Or let's say you get with a woman that is 35 and start trying to have kids ASAP and that as a partner she's an ideal match. Then after trying for a year no kid. You go to a fertility specialist, and it turns out that she's infertile. What does this mean for you?

    In my mind it's always been partner first then child if we so choose.

    This isn't to say it's wrong to want kids, but if that's the primary factor that can have issues

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  • [–] 31 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    Props for the honesty

    Wanting children in your 60s is selfish. Not only do you put them at much higher risk for birth defects, but you likely won't be around for most of their life

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  • [–] 18 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    Things you can say on the internet but probably not to their face.

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  • [–] 12 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    true but it is also true that the older the man the more likely it is he produces children with birth defects or genetic conditions

    this has been historically blamed on women and it is now coming to light that old sperm isn't good

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  • [–] -3 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    60/2 + 7 = 37. Mid 30s is cutting it

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  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago

    Meh, once someone is over thirty they've typically done enough adulting that the "half your age plus 7" metric isn't really necessary. There isn't a power or maturity imbalance, and I'm inclined to think that such women are capable of evaluating the pros and cons of dating me. My current best prospect is a M.D. that is 35.

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