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Anyone else do this? (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/autism@lemmy.world
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[–] 11 points 1 year ago* (3 children)

Yes. So very yes. I'm over 40 now and have most social situations set as templates or template variations, but as a teenager and young adult it was hard to get the unspokenly expected responses and reactions right.

These days I got it all covered so well that I have anyone and everyone so convinced that I am an extrovert that they actually laugh when I suggest I'm in truth an introvert and more.

I still am overly self conscious too much, especially AFTER any interactions, reflecting way too much on how I might have come over, seemed, what was too much, not enough, etc.

It's a mask I can no longer turn off as it's automated and its very exhausting.

But it works... Based on my observations.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    I use social templates too, to varying degrees of success. Older people at the supermarket are easy, younger people at work are hard. Useless on teens, useful on LEO. As far as reflecting too much, I used to too, until I got a kitten. I tell him my thoughts out loud and he listens...I think. Anyway it works, you'll feel more at ease and less anxious discussing you existential crisis to a furry friend 😺

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Is this template thing not... Just how life works?

    Like, I've taken enough sociology and anthropology classes to know that humans these systems of behavior into our societies. We go into church and there is a set of behaviors expected, we go to the grocery and there is a set of behaviors expected when speaking with the clerk, et cetera, et cetera.

    But, like, is this a ND thing to need to memorize the templates for these interactions? Because that's my whole life. Stand back, try to remain unseen, observe, memorize, then I can interact. Is that not just what everyone does?

    Y'all, I'm having a little bit of a crisis here

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    I feel that for many people it simply comes more naturally.

    It's a seamless scale and I just presume I'm missing some receptors others have socially so I have to compensate with templates.

    Yes, people all have to learn what is what in which society and what situation or environment. I think it's a major difference in constant self reflection others dont have that much and how raw data arrives. For me its like I perceive things slighty differently than most and I have to first convert it to a alternative viewport to make it fit properly.

    Small differences can have a big impact on if something is awkward or normal.

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