To this day, I still wonder if the massager that my parents had, and LET US USE ON EACH OTHER, was actually marketed as a massager. It was basically the wand from the image above, but instead of the little egg/tooth vibrating thing on the end, it was like a massive UFO shape with different contours cut into rubber around the edge, and was big enough that it would be the appropriate size if we used it as a mace. Like, were they the typical 'too innocent' to think about it as a sex toy types, or was it really meant to be a massager?

Thoughts I shouldn't have at night for $500, alex!