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Eight month birthday (i.postimg.cc)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by to c/facepalm@lemmy.world
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TranscriptA tweet by Ivanka Trump @ivankatrump saying "I cannot believe that Theodore is eight months old today! Happy birthday little teddy bear!" with an admittedly cute picture of a child smiling. It has a reply from @blacknmild saying "this isn't how birthdays work"

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[–] 18 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

This seems... Is there any actual evidence for this, or is this just kinda a wishful conspiracy? Because I'm all for calling out their hypocrisy, but not only does this family have a history of lying about their height, tall people.... exist. Approaching your full height at 19 isn't exactly uncommon.

(Ask an AI? Am I being wooshed?)

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    The "evidence" here is pretty sketchy, but I believe it, for two reasons.

    1. It's extremely on brand for a Trump to do this. Decrying [X] publicly while getting it for yourself is basically all he has ever done. Look to the covid vaccines for a convenient example. In addition, Trump thinks being tall = being important (just look at the six inch lifts he wears in his shoes) and I have no problem at all believing that he doped up his son with a bunch of drugs to try and turn him into some kind of superhuman.

    2. They've been making up stories about everyone else for their entire lives. So even if this one is completely made up, what does it matter? What goes around comes around. They're lucky it's something as relatively legal and safe as HGH. If we were really going tit for tat on Trump misinformation, we should have mainstream media telling everyone that Barron Trump was raised on an IV drip feed of stem cells, crack cocaine and blended up white babies. That would be closer to actually tasting some of their own medicine.

    Alas(?) lefties don't really want to play that game. They generally find misinformation to be distasteful. Which I don't blame anyone for. I'm just tired of one "team" being bound by rules and one "team" just doing whatever the fuck they want constantly with zero oversight. If we aren't going to implement oversight then we'll both end up in the mud together.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    They generally find misinformation to be distasteful.

    Alt right: “There’s a secret video of Hilary Clinton ripping a child’s face off as part of a sex ritual!”

    Leftist: “There’s probably a video of Donald Trump getting pissed on by Russian prostitutes.”

    Centrists: “Both sides are the same!”

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

    And while many might now know how Barron got to be so tall, Donald explains that it came from his mother-in-law's cooking. Amalia Knavs, Melania's mother, was known to cook regularly for the family, which the 47th President of the United States believes contributed to Barron's growth spurt.

    (Amalia died a year ago at 78 in January 2024, the same age DT is now - he credited her with this in November 2024 after she had died, imo possibly not naturally).

    "That's how he got so tall; he only ate her food," he said. "I said you're gonna be a basketball player. He said, well, 'I like soccer, Dad,' actually. I thought... at your height, I like basketball better, but you can't talk them into everything.'"

    https://www.irishstar.com/sport/nba/barron-trump-height-nba-basketball-34535350Q

    A 2019 book by Michael Wolff contained an anecdote about Trump being jealous of his son at 12 for already being so tall.

    (He was jealous bc they had started doping him, imo)

    The earliest reports of his height being 6-foot-7 may have come from the New York Post all the way back in 2021. It’s an uncommon height for any age, but it must be said, it’s really tall for 15.

    When asked about Barron’s bout with COVID-19 in 2020, Trump reportedly said, “My Barron. My tall Barron. He’s very tall. My beautiful Barron.”

    https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/barron-trump-ever-stop-growing-185331104.html

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)

    Read what I said again - if he was as many standard deviations short as he is tall, he'd be 4'7". It is an ANOMALOUS height difference by a LOT. He is indeed that height when you look at him next to his family. Earliest reports of him being 6'7" is in 2021 when he was 15.... thats extremely unusual. Have you EVER met a 15 year old at or over 6'7"?? And he could be much taller these days, they havent disclosed any kind of accurate height. It's so anomalous that Michael Rappaport calls him "Big Body Trump."

    There's nothing to say he is at his full height yet. And also, the anomalous height stuff started around 12 for him (he was relatively average height before that - v unusual). Also, being on whatever hormones, it'll take longer for his long bones to finish growing/growth plates to harden, he will continue to grow in his 20s past when everyone else stops. My genuine guess is that he will be near or over 7ft tall by 25 and stop growing then. He will likely have permanent, lifelong heart issues from this.

    It's so obvious that it's growth hormone (exogenous or endogenous), that even AI can detect it.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    Have you EVER met a 15 year old at or over 6'7"

    Yes. Plus I asked an AI and they said this is just an absurd conspiracy theory (of such tenuous feasibility that the flat earthers all enthusiastically started supporting it), so I'm pretty sure thats conclusive.

    My genuine guess

    Is this performance art? Am I being whooshed right now?

    No seriously, you think its more likely they're giving him growth hormones to make him taller vs. he's got tall parents and he is himself tall? Or that they're lying about him having a growth disorder?

    Attack them for the thousands of legit reasons we already have, you don't need to make stuff up to justify it.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)

    I specifically said to ask AI if it's normal for a 15 year old to be 6'7", or a 18 year old to be 6'9". Go ahead.

    Flat earthers are overwhelmingly MAGA types? They wouldnt like this idea, which is based in literal evidence you can see. Can't hide doping.

    Yes, since it isn't the future and we dint know Barron's height at 25, since he isnt 25, I have to GUESS what height he will be, as done anyone. You're genuinely very dumb, huh?

    Yes, if you understood what a standard deviation was, you'd understand that his height difference is significant even with tall parents. Again, so much so it is MEDICALLY RELEVANT and can INDICATE A BRAIN TUMOR (acromegaly). They know it's not a brain tumor because they've been dosing him.

    Yes, I think Trump and Melania lie. Lol.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)

    This is... fascinating. Its like art imitating life imitating art. You really are going all in on what is, even for the trump administration, absolute bunko. Moon-touched, foundation eroding goofery. Why-oh-why you believe this, I cannot know. But you've given one lowly professor of vapid truths boundless mirth in this dark time, and for that I am grateful. Ad hominem, no homonim, etcetera etcetera.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)

    Okay you ARE genuinely very dumb. Good luck with that.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)

    Ah, but in ignorance is bliss! So which of us, truly, can know the loser? Is not the knowing of others but the knowing of self? Is reflected in defeat, victory? In victory, the ignomy of defeat?

    Perhaps an appeal to the authority on such questions:

    Tragic, espies the jester of his lord;
    There which lies one who may make sport of kings;
    yet lone they know which jests do jape the truth,
    lest not be ill words thrown by there the throne...

    Seriously tho, not even waxing iambic, do you see how much store you're setting by this? Look, you're never going to convince anyone by claiming AIs as a credible source for anything you claim. Laying it out that, even if you did get your evidence from one, just take a page from this administration's book and lie about it.

    ... But you're still not going to convince anyone even if you do, you yourself present multiple more feasible theories for his abnormal height than "they're giving him hormone therapy" (why? what possible reason could they have for doing that? Seriously, why??). And surely I don't have to rip off the bard again to explain the fundementally quixotic nature of trying to malign the intelligence of someone while citing your own Genuinely™ inexpert opinion as a credible source, one to which you turn to establish the credibility of your claim? It's just circular citations, a death loop to the meaningless realms of pure chaos! You'll destroy us all with your speculation!

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)

    Okay, well, lots of other people agree with me. It's okay with me if you don't. You dont have to see it as i do. It seems pretty obvious and ive already spelled out my side. So disagree, sure, but stop being a fascist and trying to manipulate or control my opinion. Please learn how to fuck off and agree to disagree.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)

    If I remember right, everyone else in this thread is saying they don't think this is real, but they're gonna keep repeating it because turnabout is fair play. And that's awesome, I'll happily repeat this as the thrice blessed holy gospel of our noodly savior, screamed from the street corners usually taken by the "god fates hags" crowd. But that doesn't make it true, and on whole while thats as well as not, I worry that you're putting too much of yourself into the insistence that it is.

    This is spectacularly unlikely to be true, and the most likely scenario where it is true it's part of a standard treatment regimen for some rare disorder. And while announcing their hypocrisy on this subject is again the will of our noodly savior, if you really believe this is true then I worry you'll just be serving to discredit our side by espousing your belief so unwaveringly.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)

    Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Couple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Cool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Could be daisies. Don't we need those? Copy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Chemical-y. Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Candy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Coming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me!

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)

    Yeah... Buddy I'm gonna be real, in troll terms you're punching so far out of your weight class that you're not even on school grounds anymore.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)

    What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Come on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Can I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Come on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Can I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)

    Plot twist, Barron trump is actually a sentient colony of inexplicably tall bees.

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