Flailing? Paralysis? You don't see the disconnect there?
In sleep paralysis, you cannot move. It's right there in the name. When I'm having a sleep paralysis episode, I try very hard to move or scream. All I can achieve is a humming-like sound in my throat and a slight rocking motion, if I'm lucky.
I'm sure what you're experiencing is horrible, but it is not sleep paralysis.