Right, but I assume what it means is that any Apple charging cable will be generally useless as a USBC cable for anything other than charging an iPhone, which very much violates the spirit of the EU anti-waste law.

For most people, it won't matter. But a USBC cable which can't support USB3 data rates probably also won't support proper USB-PD, or USB-HDMI/DP, etc. The dream of having one universal physical standard for charging and high data rate comms will be violated in principle, even if it makes little difference in practice.

Android is superior and I'll die on this hill. Want a phone built nicer than an iPhone? Here you go. Want a cheap phone because your on a budget or it's not important to you? Here you go. Want an operating system you can configure to your liking, or even install your own version of it? Here you go. Want a headphone jack? Here you go.

Good for you! I do it at least 3 times a week

I connected my phone to tether internet since the power was out but the cell network was still going.

Furthermore, they'll be shooting themselves in the foot. The EU is already curtailing wireless charging lock-in, by mandating Qi charging support. A tailor-made solution might have a higher speed, but as technologies improve, the "harmonised interoperability" will be bumped up by the EU parliament.

Lastly, this legislation doesn't seem aimed at just the EU. My legalese isn't all that great, but it seems they're highly encouraging members of the EEA (non-EU) to adopt similar legislation too.

Source: europa.eu