Honestly I get where you're coming from with the gentle parenting approach, and I think some people use it as an excuse to not engage with crappy behaviour. But I think kids whining and behaving a bit crappy is normal, and they're often expressing complex feelings that they haven't learned to understand and manage, and that they don't know how to explain. Maybe kids that learn to suppress that behaviour at a young age, through fear of punishment, or being shunned and isolated (eg 'go to your room') may go on to be adults who supress their feelings and don't express and advocate for their needs and. I guess we'll see won't we, as this generation of kids gets older. And some other parenting style will be the 'correct' one by the time they have kids. My niece is going through a really annoying whiney and whingey phase and it makes her very exhausting to be around at the moment, so I do sympathise with where you're coming from!

I read through it and in all honesty, what I'm gathering, is that it's common for people to go overboard. Either that or my family (father, myself, son) are some kind of insane statistical anomaly. Relationship down the line is fantastic, and son doesn't have outbursts and isn't violent.

Seems the underlying thing is that people use corporal punishment beyond a simple spank swat or hit on the butt. The things they speak about seem to be referring to beating, pulling hair, using sticks, paddles, etc. Even resulting in physical marks or hospitalization. Again, the line between spanking and beating is subjective. ALL research isn't showing I'm in the wrong. It's statistically showing that it has negative impacts overall, but this also, again, complies spanking into sticks, paddles, pulling hair, etc. together.

Ofc a child will be violent when you beat them with a stick or belt. A smack on the butt? Quick and effective. Hot sauce is spicy, therefore all sauces are spicy. Show me a study where they separate the difference.

Right, I think the core issue is that most people (a LOT) use spanking as an immediate, "no!" which leads to many beatings, excessiveness, and more than likely, actual physical abuse.

The people I've met where their parents were responsible with it are great dudes. The people I've met who were simply... Beaten and battered, do not live successful lives for the most part.

My opinion, is that it can be effective if used responsibly and within reason.

Most comments I get are along the lines of, "ha have fun asking why your son doesn't talk to you in the future." what they don't see is that we're best friends and my kid is an adult and is "punishing us" by threatening to live at home longer every time we ask him to clean up the basement. He's responsible af, has a good savings, bought a new car, works full time, etc. I don't understand the issue when everything has turned out amazing. Yes, I spanked my kid. I did not hit him with any object, throw him, punch him, throw things at him, etc.

It's difficult to accept the other perspective of gentle parenting when most of those kids I meet are total selfish assholes. Even more so when I compare to the level of responsibility, competency, and integrity that my son has compared to other people his age. Like I said in another post, I must be a backwards ass statistical anomaly or something. Either that, or I did it right. If not, I did something right.