POTENTIALLY DUMB QUESTION ALERT, but I'm here for a reason. I have SEVERE ADHD which a lot of the time feels like I'm bordering on autism when it comes to specific interactions. I've developed a habit of just, throwing out the phrase "oh, I'm just hella autistic" as a reason if I do something weird in a social interaction, like get overly passionate about something or get awkward or whatever.

I've never been formally diagnosed with autism, but I've had therapists suggest I may be autistic. Idk why I keep fucking saying that I'm "autistic" I feel like it's just easier to both say and explain as opposed to "oh I'm neurodivergent" or "Oh im just mentally ill :3" Its also cus I assume most people know what Autism looks like and thus I dont have to explain as much, as most people dont know what severe ADHD looks like and I assume most dont even take ADHD that seriously.

Is that something to just throw around like that?? 'Cause I have friends who actually are autistic, and after hyperfixating on all kinds of mental health research, I don't exactly fit the bar for autism, I'm wayyyyy too outgoing and sociable(?) among other things. My symptoms fit more under severe ADHD or potentially even AuADHD. Which I also have no idea how I can go about getting a diagnosis.

"I will talk to a therapist because I’m not sure, maybe both? But here’s a bit of what I’ve written down:

I've always had a problem with relationships, maybe it's my autism, maybe not, who knows? But I've always been too "intense" and called crazy or yandere. I need to discuss with a professional, but here are some things I wrote.

"I'm gonna get professional help and find out what's wrong. It'll be hard though since I have autism and I'm a teen and I heard they don't diagnose autistic teens but a person who hates me said that so IDK if I can accept his comments as fact or not, we used to be friends until he started hurting me and being rude.

Anyway, IDK what it could be but I do have problems. If you come here to damage my self-esteem, please don't, but you can share your experiences. I already acknowledge I'm a bad person.

I do respect her boundaries, but I also feel like I can't form a connection with her. She says we're friends, but people have said she wants nothing to do with me and that she's "just being nice", especially since she's an art account who doesn't want to look bad for her fans or whatever. IDK how true that is, but she never knows what to say when I talk to her, but then again she wants me to make art for her, so that means she doesn't hate me, right?

I feel like a disgusting creep like I've been called my whole life by people for being too intense and clingy. I'm insanely obsessive, no joke. And at first, I felt rejected and decided I wouldn't talk to her, but I've calmed down and I'm too attached to cut contact entirely. She said I could message her but not every day and that she'd tell me if she didn't wanna talk. I know it's not her fault, probably not mine, maybe it is, so why do I feel so bad?? Or maybe, why DID I since I'm better now? We're friends regardless, right? She didn't just outright ghost me and call me names."

“Prone to obsession

Prone to attachment

Self-aware, lucid, doesn’t jump to conclusions when not attached to said person. Would be suspected to be “normal” or without any disorder.

Intense attachment and fixations on people

Non-crystallized sense of self

Derealization at times or “shifting” into my favorite character

All-or-nothing attachment

I can see you as a normal person one day, and the next you’re everything to me.

I stay online anxiously waiting for your text, I can flip my lid if rejected and go to thinking “they hate me!!! And they want me to SUFFER!!!” Attachment is source of stress and can cause anger but also happiness. I will find reasons to not like you or think you’re mean even if I like you at the same time.

Impulsive and indulgent, won’t pull away from something or someone that makes me happy.

Doesn’t self-harm but thinks about it when having intense emotions (used to impulsively hit/punch arms or head but then got on medication and seems to maybe be calmer but symptoms/signs are still there)” (therapy notes)"

so i know this one girl who’s pretty freaky, if you know what i mean, and got mad at me because i didn’t share her interest in gay porn manga, but i just could never get into it. i prefer romantic rather than sexual content, and as a lesbian, i prefer romance between two women.

some people say, especially men, say it’s not okay due to fetishization of gay men and straight women not knowing the queer or the male experience, but someone else said they should be able to enjoy what they want and to say that it’s not ok was “gatekeeping” interests.

my friend is also pretty immature, but it’s ok. like, she thinks women kissing is gross and it “doesn’t sit right with her” but is fine with men kissing, and says women don’t attract her and only has interests and crushes on men but then says she’s bi? maybe she prefers men, idk???

anyway, what’s wrong with it so i can learn better??

Sorry to ask, I don't want to seem ignorant but I really don't get it. Like, I saw a post on someone identifying as Norwegian-American and I thought of what another commenter said that most people don't do the stuff Americans do and how most people will see them as American. But I see many Americans strongly identify with a culture they were raised with. Is it still okay for them to do that? What's the point?

Let's say hypothetically you've got a bad case of covid & strep throat so you check into a hotel for a week to quarantine away from friends & family, at any point do you notify hotel staff of your illness? Or would you rather lay low, ashamed, not mention it, hoping/assuming they clean the room as well as possible after you leave. Knowing there's a possibility the housekeeper and anyone nearby may catch this bug??

Hi, I identify as a gay man for now and I feel disconnected from womanhood, but my body is female. I want to know how normal it is for women not to be comfortable in their own bodies and wish they had bodily characteristics of a born male. I've felt that way ever since I was eight or seven, so it got me thinking that I could have known I was a boy even then.

I wanted to cut my hair short because it looked more boyish and I hated being called "girly". I wanted to be accepted among the guys and I considered myself just a "tomboy".

I know that "females" is seen as icky when describing women or girls, but since not all women were born female and not all born females are women, would that make addressing them as such transphobic?

I had to deal with this one lady my age who was/is friends with a girl who used to bully me (I caught up with her and the bully is so far nice, it's been four years so it's possible, even likely, she changed). She was even worse than the bully, she constantly acted like she was going to attack me, screamed my name like she was my archnemesis in a story, and after sending threats to me, calling me names, and telling me to die, she made several other accounts with different names like "Kaitlyn", "Josephine", etc. all friending me and liking my posts. I knew it was her from the mannerisms, being friends with all the lady's friends, and one other thing: Kaitlyn was her username but her display name was kept as her real name.

She didn't do anything harmful but she tried to see who I was friends with, what places I went, what I posted, etc. She never answered my messages, though, she'd just look at what I posted and who was my friend.

I'm not talking about troll posts, but like innocent posts that always have 1 or 2 downvotes on every comment they post. Is it someone disagreeing or just a downvote troll?

my mom is jewish and russian… as you can imagine, we have family in russia and israel, both of which are very hated for the wars going on there. i’m personally very anti-war, but i’m afraid people, especially irl, will hate me for my background.

I like the idea of holding hands or hugging my girlfriend, but IDK if I see her as a romantic partner or more of a deep platonic one.

I would never want to kiss anyone or have sex, I never feel ready to have it with anyone, it just feels weird. I can get attached but I dunno…

In my fictional country, my character banned Kiwi Farms, but someone said that it would mean she hated free speech.

She doesn’t want harassment to occur in her country: for her citizens to harass others or become victims/“lolcows”.

I know it’s my world, but I need some advice.

I’m asking here because I may get judged less. I’m not asking as a hateful person. In my story, my worldbuilding, there is a fictional Queen who is banning sites like Kiwi Farms.

so i was talking to a maga family member about one of my stories i was planning to make, which happened to have a diverse set of characters from different cultures and countries.

the family member responded by calling the characters “dei”? (diversity, equity, inclusion) is this a word that maga uses as a slur?

i don’t even get how having diverse characters is an insult. do they WANT every single character in everything ever made to be white or something?

right-wing, left-wing, liberal, whatever. i’m not too knowledgeable on politics and I feel like this is really stupid to ask, but I’m curious.

It’s a dream, so I may never fulfill it, but I’ve always wanted to start some sort of organization, like many have done, where i donate certain necessities and money to other countries—especially underdeveloped ones, possibly using tax money?

Obviously like the other questions like this say, it’s not a diagnosis. Plus, this guy refuses help, but I know it’s surely something his behavior indicates.

According to my fiancé, he:

Like, no, you trying to beat me up every time I don’t do what you want can’t be excused with “just being mad”.

Again, this is not for armchair diagnosis. Just to analyze the behavior.

My sister Lena (14F) has just graduated the eighth grade. All throughout middle school, she had a friend named Ashlyn (14F).

Ashlyn presented a sort of “face” to Lena that attracted her: kind, a good listener, supportive, etc. Early on, Lena started to figure out that Ashlyn had red flags, but didn’t think much of them. For example, Ashlyn would ask “Lena, do you know that everyone hates you? I don’t know why but X student said Y about you! And it’s such a shame, you’re so kind!”

Ashlyn would also say stuff like that she was the “main character”, that she was the “queen bee”, etc. She would often call herself a fashion expert and she and her friends would make fun of Lena for her hair, clothes, etc.

Once, Ashlyn apparently said that she had NPD, and is reported by others to behave narcissistically.

A way I can describe Ashlyn is: cares a lot about status and appearance. She wants to be rich, popular, and pretty. She’s athletic, passionate, and energetic. Very influential of her peers and goes after what she wants without much care of others or how it affects them.

Ashlyn really likes sports, but she found out one day that Lena does not. Ashlyn got mad at Lena for being bad at sports despite not playing, tried to hurt(?) Lena multiple times by throwing the ball at her face/head, etc. She also expects Lena to catch a ball that she throws way over her head, behind her or in a completely different direction (Ex: If Ashlyn throws to a girl who is standing across the room from Lena and way to the right, she expects Lena to catch it, not the other girl).

Ashlyn has talked behind her back and started fights with Lena multiple times, threatening to kick her out of the friend group permanently and never speak to her again. Often, the reasons will be for petty stuff such as: not liking her disorder, not liking her tics, not liking her stutter, saying hi to her, or confusing one word for another (ex: saying “instigating” instead of “antagonizing”).

Ashlyn has admitted that she isn’t a good person and that she pretends to be nice to everyone so she doesn’t make enemies and ruin her reputation at school. She even sends videos in the group chat saying she hates certain people, or saying “me with most of you!! 😂”. She also just smiled and nodded whenever Lena said something and said it’s because she doesn’t care about Lena or what she has to say.

After “throwing Lena away”, so to speak, she then acts really nice and really wants Lena to talk to her again. Lena has gotten used to this by now, I’m sure. Lena has told Ashlyn many times about how she feels, but Ashlyn cares more about her image, truly, than about how she affects others. Ashlyn does not want to seek help because she thinks seeking professional help is too expensive, doesn’t care enough to do any introspection or see how she affects people, and would rather talk to her friends.

It seems Ashlyn truly doesn’t see there’s a problem.

Ashlyn acts like an expert on advice often and wants personal information from Lena, but does not give any information about herself to Lena, only about her achievements.

Ashlyn’s half-black (mixed), so she also thinks she has an excuse to call people multiple slurs. She was born in America, though, unlike Lena, who was born in Chile, so she found that to tease her for too.

This behavior is certainly abusive. Lena has graduated and will not see Ashlyn again or for a while, and I was wondering what your thoughts were or if NPD people can act like this.

Or narcissistic behavior like some people have said?

From my friend Jaiden that I posted about, just curious.

My online friend Jaiden lives in and is from the Philippines. She has dealt with a lot of trauma and abusive parents, it seems, and also seems to have been bullied. I have heard from many people, especially those who have been to the Philippines, that it’s great. The country is pretty and the people are nice.

However, Jaiden says it’s quite the contrary. I am taking into consideration her trauma and another comment that she herself could be lying and actually the bully or someone with okay parents. We don’t know. But anyway, she says that it’s a very racist, neo-Nazi country filled with murderers.

i am russian. i moved here as a child at like 10 years. i currently live in united states but my mom and i miss russia.

we want to go back for visiting but i don’t know how safe it would be.

This feels very stupid and uncertain to answer, but I get really curious.

I know certain people who are very manipulative. They care a lot about how they’re perceived. They put on a sort of “face” of agreeability and kindness, when in reality, they’re not like this at all.

They can fool almost anyone who doesn’t know them, because they’re very good actors. They don’t like a lot of people and even view a lot of them as not human.

They’ll find people to target, like disabled people specifically, who they view as objects or animals. They’ll show a completely different side to them. Manipulative, outwardly cruel, wanting to hurt them. And they never feel bad. They never apologize.

After all, to them, it’s the victim’s fault that they were hurt.

“If you just would have done X, I wouldn’t have hurt you!”

How can anyone be like this? I know it’s likely something in their brain, but why?